so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
