I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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