Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
