people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
