I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
