Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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