Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
