All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
