eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You're a waste of cheezeits
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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