At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
