I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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