Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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