she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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