So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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