If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
