I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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