so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
