If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
