***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My liver just had a heart attack.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
