I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we made out on top of his cat.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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