Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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