he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
