so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize