Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
