Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
