Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize