Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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