What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
