So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
