he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
