Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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