I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
