did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
