easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
