apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
