So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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