This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize