Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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