The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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