Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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