Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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