Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
