forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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