You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
