You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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