We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
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I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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