We named our party play list daddy issues
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize