He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i out mim tonsoeep
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
