Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
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Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
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I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart