the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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