Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
