how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
