I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
