If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize