You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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