Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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