Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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