We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
