Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
