i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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