end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
