the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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