In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
