You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
