I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
