remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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