nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
