Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
