All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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