dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
