Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
